Too often, horrible people get away with doing horrible things. It’s one of life’s mentally crippling truths that we’re reminded of in varying doses throughout adulthood. But last month, when the Department of Justice finally released over three million pages of files involved in its investigation of Jeffrey Epstein, we as a collective were overwhelmingly confronted with this fact. The material contained over 180,000 images (including some that pictured victims who did not consent to public release) and 2,000 videos being used to investigate the late serial rapist, human trafficker, and former financier Jeffrey Epstein. And in them lie email chains, texts, flight logs, and interview summaries that outline Epstein and his coconspirators’ offenses in vivid detail.

The first disturbing factor is the host of very famous and very powerful names from across the globe that show up throughout the documents—and especially dignitaries from seemingly every sector of national influence: the White House, Wall Street, Hollywood, and Silicon Valley. You’ll find emails exchanged between Epstein and tech billionaire Elon Musk, in which Musk asks when the “wildest” time to party on Epstein’s infamous island would be. There’s a message Epstein drafted to Microsoft founder Bill Gates, complaining about having to track down medicine for Gates to treat an STI, or as he puts it, “the consequences of sex with Russian girls.” Then there are the tens of thousands of Trump mentions, some of which name the sitting president in accusations of sexual misconduct sent to the FBI (the president has repeatedly denied any wrongdoing).

But the high-profile names only account for a fraction of the files’ shock factor. The documents also lay out in plain detail an almost inconceivable amount of violence carried out against women and children by Epstein and his coconspirators (including ex-girlfriend Ghislaine Maxwell, who is currently serving a 20-year sentence for sex trafficking). Now, after years of public pleas for the Epstein files’ release, civilians can hop on the DOJ’s site to access the trove of documentation that pinpoints exactly how a man used his wealth and high-profile network to abuse vulnerable children.



But in an effort to stay informed, many people who’ve gone through the DOJ’s portal have been left in a state of deep distress. The fact that many atrocities once regarded as conspiracy theories are documented offenses in a federal investigation has sent them down a mental spiral, with their faith in humanity completely dislodged and incapable of thinking about anything but the files. Social media users have spent the past few weeks detailing the deep paranoia they’ve fallen into, now knowing the specific level of terror that not just Epstein but numerous powerful associates were capable of.



“I’ve been having constant nightmares,” a TikTok user commented in reaction to the files. “I can’t trust anyone, I feel like everyone around me is secretly evil and in the files…I feel like I’m going [insane].” “Our souls weren’t meant to digest this level of evil,” wrote another. This specific brand of anxiety and despair is widespread, and it’s due to what professionals call “secondary trauma,” which can present itself as intrusive thoughts, dissociation, anger, or emotional numbness.

“Over the past few weeks, I’ve had multiple clients bring up the Epstein files in our sessions because they were feeling unsettled,”trauma therapist Cristina Billingsley tells Cosmopolitan. “Some reported not being able to sleep after reading details, and others found themselves unable to stop compulsively searching for more information while simultaneously feeling overwhelmed but not knowing why.”

“I would encourage readers to be aware of their personal history and the effect it currently has on them before reading,” she says. “Do you have a history of sexual abuse or betrayal trauma? What tends to happen in your body when you encounter stories of sexual violence? Are you choosing to read this from a grounded and intentional place or because you feel pressured to?”

Our worldview can shift due to having this prolonged exposure to the victims’ experiences and pain.


“Our nervous system is constantly scanning the world for cues of safety and danger, so reading this type of explicit content can be extremely activating,” says Katie Carhart, PhD, a clinical psychologist who also specializes in trauma management.

“Because new files are being released frequently, and we are getting repetitive exposure to the violent details, we can experience vicarious trauma. Our worldview can shift due to having this prolonged exposure to the victims’ experiences and pain,” she explains. “It can create ‘moral injury’ where seeing these abuses inflicted against vulnerable women and children really [awaken] our sense of injustice and our inability to control abuses occurring.”

The juxtaposition between the severity of the atrocities detailed and the casual manner in which they are discussed between perpetrators via email—not to mention the ease with which we’re able to access them—is jarring. But what adds to that distress is the idea that there are no actionable next steps for us as civilians to take. We feel relatively powerless in controlling the societal systems that aided these predators for so long, while their victims spent years trying to hold them accountable. (But below, you can find an actionable list of resources to support victims and let the DOJ know that you want their abusers brought to justice).

Part of what overwhelms us is how far-reaching the information within these documents is—seemingly touching every sector of life and culture. One day, you see news about your favorite musician (or musician’s manager) being named in the files; the next, (unconfirmed) chatter arises about how Epstein could’ve been financially backing your favorite tween clothing brand while he was actively abusing children. And then there’s the awareness that we haven’t even seen the full scope of these horrors—the DOJ revealed that there are almost 3 million additional pages they don’t plan to release. It’s the ubiquity of the files and the people involved that allows them to mentally plague us—evil’s sphere of influence feels impossible to escape long after we close out of the Justice.gov tab.

Plus, this is unfolding alongside similarly distressing news that dominates our current headlines: From ICE’s violent enforcement tactics to the sitting president posting racist videos on social media. But if you’re hoping to protect your mental well-being, you don’t have to shield yourself from current events entirely. “It’s ok to limit consumption,” suggests Carhart. “It might be helpful to read a summary of file content versus explicit details or to limit how often you are consuming this kind of news to certain times of the day or week.”


Engaging with this information in any capacity can be triggering, especially if you have a history of trauma, but Carhart recommends maintaining a toolbox of reliable coping mechanisms to ensure the information doesn’t lead you down a spiral. “Physical movement, nature, and trusted relationships/connections can be big ones to lean on. A morning walk to clear your head, a 30-second break to break in the fresh air and take in the sunshine, or a quick call to a friend can make an impact.”

While parsing through the files to prepare to write this story, I both cried and required more breaks than I anticipated. And that’s the human reaction to this level of evil. Feeling crippled by this information doesn’t make someone weak or mentally unstable but simply aware of how poorly this information reflects on the systems meant to protect us. But while awareness is important, so is maintaining a well-being that allows you to get up every day and live your life without constant fears of impending doom. “It’s important to stay informed,” says Carhart, “but it’s also important to protect yourself.”

To support victims of human trafficking and sexual assault:

  • Donate to Safe Horizon, an anti-trafficking organization that supports survivor recovery and safety
  • Save/share the National Human Trafficking Hotline info (1-888-373-7888), which provides 24/7 confidential support for victims
  • Contact your senators and Congress members to demand the release of the rest of the files and justice for the victims. Find your representatives’ information here.